30 Days of Kink: My Choice

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Day 30: Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.

Since I've been in an awfully aggressive and forceful mood lately, I'd like to talk about something that is very prominent in my life and my intimacy style: rape play. Or, as I term it, rape. Yes, for those of you who have this as a trigger, I definitely suggest to not continue reading and to ignore the rest of this post completely. I would not want to cause any ill-feelings in my followers, unless they enjoy such things, of course.

I am an extreme force and aggression player. I've always been rough during sex, and even rougher while playing with someone, but there are times when I need something more...carnal. More animal. Less about pleasure and more about adrenaline rushes and pure sensation. I write of it quite frequently, actually, on my deviantART account and in other places (like on my Fetlife). It's not so much a fascination to me as it is a reality. The want to overcome another and feel them weaken and break beneath me. And while many have a certain distaste for those terms, there's no other way for me to describe it. It isn't that I want my prey to be weak, no. I want them to be weak to me. To be strong enough to the outside world but weak to one is the most honorable thing a person can be.

It's beautiful.

There are so many things wrong with this interest of mine, I realize that. And that's honestly what makes it the hardest to voice (among a few others), the fact that I know how others feel about it and the last thing that I want to do is make other people [who are not my love or relationship interests] uncomfortable. The feeling is potent in my mind, and the implications of it are completely apparent. Complete submission, not only that my one knows, but that I know too. The only way I can feel it is if I have gained that, if I can feel it in my blood that I have the upper hand. It's the other way around, for most. Most submissives need to feel weak to their Dominant, but most Dominants do not enjoy that. I, however, do. I need to feel stronger. I need to feel like I can overcome them (even though I will admit there's something alluring about having a submissive who is stronger).

I'm for equality among human beings, but I do not really enjoy it within my relationships. I love the difference of rank and status. It's not that the person I am with, who is my "lesser," as I term it, is not meaningful to me, no. It's that they are meaningful enough that I have given them the right to be called lesser, lower than me. It takes a lot of courage and strength, dignity, for someone to be considered that, in my opinion. I wouldn't consider anyone that, honestly. I see everyone as my equal. Aside from, of course, that one person who becomes my lesser. It puts them somewhere where no one else in the world is, and that, to me, is more of an honor than anything else.

Amusing how this ended up becoming more of a rant than anything else. Ah well, it's the last post in the sequence, I suppose that it should include more of my thoughts on things that I enjoy than anything else, right? And perhaps you all enjoy reading my mindless rants about nothing in particular. But to get back to my thoughts on rape play, ravishment, whatever you term it, it's something that I thoroughly enjoy and require. It gets me off like no other, to be blunt. I love the look in a person's eyes when they've given up and surrendered. It's that split second realization of "I can't win against you." Or, in my case, "You're powerless to me." And that, to me, is pure beauty.

-Sir

30 Days of Kink: Titles

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Day 29: Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)? What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?

I do indeed have a title. Currently, my only title is Sir, though in the past, it has been many things: King, Daddy, Master, Your Highness, Mi'lord, God, Satan, and so on, so forth. I honestly enjoy titles. My favorite would have to be when someone refers to me as their King, but that's extremely intimate and reserved for certain people and situations. More commonly, I like "Sir." "Sir" is fitting for me; it's short, direct, and to the point.

Titles, in my opinion, aren't so much important as they are something that comes naturally. Generally speaking, titles are meaningless to me—how a person acts and carries themselves means more than a simple word on a placard. I place a high value on titles because, if used, the person with the title must be able to back that title up. I would not consider myself a Dominant or Sir if I did not hold myself to the level of decency that I do. I feel the same for submissives and slaves, and while there is no one "right" way to be either, I do expect a certain level of respect and decency from most everyone involved in the lifestyle who considers themselves either side of the coin.

It's honestly a conversation that I have with people often. It's something that tells you a lot about a person, when you know their opinion on the use of titles. But what is more interesting, in my opinion, are the titles that they enjoy. That speaks levels of their character and says a lot about who they are as a person. It's like with me and enjoying the title of being a slave's King. People can gather from that what they will, but in reality, it has far-reaching implications. Most just consider it a title of power, but it's more than that, to me. It describes both the level that I would like to rule someone as well as the era that interests me and dominates my personality (even though I am primarily 1950s).

What titles mean to most will differ from what they mean to me. Everyone has their own definition of their title, so the best course of action, in my opinion, is to just get to know a person, without the filter of titles. One will manifest itself over time, whether it's Sir, asshole, pet, girl, little one, or Daddy.

30 Days of Kink: Dress-up

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Day 28: How do you dress for kink/BDSM play? What significance does your attire have to you?

It truly depends on the situation. I've never been one for dress-up or roleplay (as I stated in one of the earlier days), but I do like to dress up. Dress up, as in, wear something nice or something that I enjoy, like leather. I also am very partial to suits, if I haven't said that enough. Boots or suit shoes are a must, except on rare occasions when I wear leather sandals. I do not find the way that I dress to be specifically for anything, though. It's mainly just for myself and for my own enjoyment.

My attire is significant to me in that I care very much about it. Though I do not care about others' outward appearance, I care very much about mine. I am very particular in my style of dress and the things that I wear, how they fit me, what color combinations they have. I enjoy looking good, and I like to wear things that I feel are attractive on me. Though this does somewhat connect to how I dress for play, play does not make me change into something "better" or more "fitting" because I feel that whatever clothing I was already wearing is fitting enough.

Candy Jaguar Cuffs by ASLAN Leather

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I think that it's common knowledge that Aslan Leather makes excellent quality leather pieces. I have so many things made by them that it's almost hard to count. To add to my fairly large collection of their equipment, the Pink Candy Jaguar cuffs add a hint of sweetness yet retain the quality materials that Aslan Leather is known for. I cannot describe how happy I was when Edenfantasys sent these to me. I wouldn't have expected any less or any more—the cuffs are exactly as they should be.

The cuffs have two layers of leather that are of average thickness and an extremely thick buckle strap on the outside. They're flexible, durable, and well-made. With a total of seven rivets (double row surrounding the d-ring), the Candy Jaguar cuffs have no way of coming apart due to ripping or tearing. They're artfully made, and it shows in the stitching and care used to craft them. The edges of the leather are not finished by being folded over, but they are cut on a bias in order to have an aesthetically pleasing appearance. As much as I would have preferred the leather folded over, it would have been far too bulky. When the cuffs are first received, they are extremely stiff and inflexible, so keep this in mind when purchasing. It does cause them to be slightly difficult to adjust, but not so much that they are unusable. They will most likely take many uses to soften up, but over time, they will.

Lined with white leather and bearing a pink outer layer, the Candy Jaguar cuffs are simply adorable. If you've seen Aslan's Jaguar cuffs, then you know that they're very trim and straight-forward. They don't have any frills or accouterments on them, nothing added that may get in the way or distract from the sensation of wearing cuffs. Just thick leather against skin. But the thing that sets the Candy set (there is also a collar) apart from Aslan Leather's original Jaguar cuffs is that the leather is more plush. When comparing the thicknesses, you can see that the Candy Jaguar cuffs have a slightly thicker layer of lining than the original cuffs do. I do believe that this not only adds to their comfort, but their sweetness as well.

But don't let the sweetness fool you. The cuffs feature a locking buckle and a thick, firm buckle strap (the strap is white like the lining). They're moderately heavy-duty cuffs, even though they are both comfortable and plush. I wouldn't say that they can be used for suspension, though tie-ups and metal links are always options for connecting the cuffs. They don't come with any connectors, but you can find those easily in most stores.

For fit, the cuffs have the capability of fitting a wide range of sizes. There are six slots for adjustment with the locking buckle, each spaced ¼" apart. When laid flat, the cuffs measure 11½" from tip of the buckle strap to the edge of the cuff. However, they only fit sizes 5" to 9" around. This means that if you or your partner has ankles in this range, they can double as ankle cuffs. But if you don't, I would say that your best bet is to get only one pair for the wrists (which is what I did). The cuffs are not a wide pair of cuffs, but they're not very thin either at a width of 2". I would call them fairly average. The buckle strap is an inch in width.

One of the biggest problems with the Candy Jaguar set is not one with how they are made (unsurprisingly, even though they are firm and need to be broken in); it's due to the white leather. Most people will tell you what a pain upkeep is for anything white (clothes, shoes, furniture), so leather is no different. It gets stained easily and can possibly absorb the color of things around it, so I suggest keeping the cuffs hung up somewhere where there is no possibility of this happening. They can also always be kept in a plastic baggie to keep them safe from harm. On that note, when storing them, make sure to keep them out of direct sunlight and in a place that is not damp (do not keep them in your bathroom, for instance). Leather requires proper care, but if it cared for relatively well, it will last for a long, long time.

On the comfort side of things, the cuffs are fairly comfortable due to having the slightly plush, smooth leather interior, but because of the firmness of the buckle strap, they can be a little less movable and natural feeling. With more use they'll soften up, but until then, try to grin and bear it. It's really not that unpleasant of a feeling, it's just slightly more awkward than leather cuffs that have been broken in.

You simply cannot go wrong when buying products from Aslan, and since every product is backed by a lifetime guarantee, you will be set for life. Me personally, I am somewhat of a collector, so I could never be happy with just one pair. They're certainly a nice addition to what I already have, and because of the pink and white leather, they're also unique. If pink isn't your thing, Edenfantasys also carries the Candy Jaguar cuffs in baby blue (my favorite color, actually). Though I will admit that they are fairly expensive  at $58 (more so than some other leather cuffs out there), they are very good quality and Aslan Leather does have their guarantee, so it's more safety than other companies offer.

If you're interested in purchasing the Candy Jaguar cuffs, head on over to Edenfantasys. They're $58, like I said, but I find them to be worth the price. In addition to the matching collar, there's also two styles of harnesses to choose from that match the set as well. If you want a little discount, enter my partner code B5P at your checkout to get 15% off.

Note: They did come in a plastic, resealable baggie. I suggest keeping this for storage to keep the white leather as clean as possible. Even though no one really will see it, I'm somewhat obsessive over the state of my cuffs, so I kept the baggie.

product picture
Wrist cuffs by Aslan Leather
Material: Leather
Safety:
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer.

30 Days of Kink: Non-kink in Kink Play?

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Day 27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?

I cannot really say for sure, honestly. Everything that I do simply encompasses me. Especially with the type of person I am, I cannot detach myself from my interests as a whole. Some of my interests are mathematics, music, and art (either written or drawn), but something that I really enjoy is teaching. I work at a tutoring center and I absolutely love it. I do believe that that plays a part in the type of Dominant I am, since I am very guiding.

Aside from that, I do not roleplay any situations, so I wouldn't say that I do the whole "teacher/student" thing, even though I sometimes take on the role of being a teacher to my lesser. I would say that, truly, all of my interests, including the lifestyle, make up who I am. To say that any part of me disappears when in different settings would be untrue. I am who I am, no matter where I may be.
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