- Ask to be my submissive and not for me to be your Dominant. See the different connotation there? I cannot stress this enough. Also acceptable is asking to be bestowed my collar, not to receive it. Saying "May I have ..." comes across as entitled and also rude and assumptive — it is not humble at all. Asking to be bestowed my collar is much more pleasant and shows that you are aware of your place. (On that note, I do not collar people easily. I cannot honestly say that I have formally collared anyone, really; the times that I have collared people, it was not a formal collaring ceremony. Assuming that I'm going to give anything more than a consideration collar for a while is improper, because I will not.)
- List, in detail, what you are offering in terms of service.
- What do you excel at?
- What forms of service do you enjoy performing?
- List, in detail, what you would like to improve on either while serving me or in general.
- What forms of service would you like to become more proficient at?
- Are there any types of service that you dislike performing?
- Any habits that you would like to get rid of?
- Tell me why you feel that you deserve to serve me. Note: Many would disagree with this, but I feel that it's necessary for a person to tell me why they deserve to be at my feet. If they have no reason, that is fine, but they should try to find a tangible reason.
- Write about how you feel about me as a person.
- What you like, what you dislike.
- Be completely honest.
- Recognize both my faults and strong points.
- Tell me what you'd require my help and assistance with and what level of patience you need in order for you to serve me to your optimal potential.
- List any expectations that you have from me. Again, be upfront and honest; do not hide your desires.
- Tell me what form of arrangement you are interested in — romantic, strictly D/s, one transitioning into the other?
- Tell me how long of a time span you would like to serve me for.
- Tell me what level of protocol you're interested in.
- Let me know if you want to start at that level or if you want to build up to that level.
- Be honest if you need help; do not be too proud or prideful.
- Tell me your limits and areas that you would prefer to not have crossed.
- Make sure to note whether it's a hard limit or one that can be pushed at my discretion.
- Define submission and service. Tell me what it means to you to be submissive and to serve another.
Years in the making, a liberating, sexual freedom blog with posts about two wonderful things: sex toys and BDSM.
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Sunday, July 8, 2012
Petitioning to be Mine
Since I've been reading posts about people asking how they should ask for a Dominant's collar, I decided to write a little list of what I expect (or what I'd like) a submissive to include in their proposition to serve me. Keep in mind that I am a Dominant, so this is what I would like to see, not necessarily what a submissive would like to give. Every Dominant is different though, so before petitioning someone, ask them what they would appreciate included; open communication is always a must when it comes to any type of relationship.
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