30 Days of Kink: Define Your Kinky Self

Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting, in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically, define your kinky self for us.

I am a full-time, high protocol, extremely controlling and sadistic Dominant. The 1950s lifestyle, having my slave service me, clean my house, present themself to me, and be my muse and everything daily really gets me going. It's not so much a fetish as a need, though I suppose that that's the same thing. I love when a person cooks for me—it's the easiest way to get into my heart. I also love seeing things neat and tidy, except for my desk. If a submissive of mine ever touched my desk without my permission, I would get horribly upset.

BDSM is more than just a game to play in the bedroom, or even a game to play every once in a while. It's a constant struggle and ecstasy, a constant pushing and pulling of emotion, attraction, passion. It's not just a title, to be called a Dominant. It's me, having someone give their life and soul over to me, having them put that control in my hands and saying, "Here, take this, I trust you." It's the ultimate bond of trust, and maybe that's why I need to be in such a relationship so much. I cannot stand a relationship without that bond, without that power exchange.

I'm a Dominant, but I'm not the only one with power. My slave, in their own selfish, sadistic way, will control me. My emotions, my rules. How I play the game, what piece I choose to move and what rule I choose to break. Or what rule I choose to make, if that's the case. I let them have that control over me so that I know that we're both grounded to each other. Ultimately, I make the decisions, I make the rules. But a person technically has free will—to disobey, to run away, to listen, and to learn. Getting them to do the positives, as opposed to the negatives, is a struggle. It takes time, and patience—something that I am still learning.