30 Days of Kink: Changes

Day 23: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? How so?

My first reaction to this question was, "No shit, Sherlock!" Of course my perspectives and interests have changed! I originally started out as primarily a person who was into the play aspect, and it developed into a need for the 24/7 lifestyle. I had been interested in it, as I've said many times, from early childhood. As I grew, things definitely changed. I learned more about myself, about my role, about where I stood in life. I'm still learning, though my interests are not going anywhere at this point. I've been pretty stagnant in my likes and dislikes, interests and hard limits for quite a long time. Sad as that may sound, I'm content with being who I am now.

It's certainly interesting because I try to remember now how I was back then, and I can't. I always had that something in me that made me this way—that's all that I can describe it as, that "something." It's like one of those atoms that they put in the lab and let grow—that's almost how it was with me. So as it grew, my interests grew, my knowledge grew, and I'm still learning at this point. Everything that I know is from my own teaching and experience. I didn't have a mentor to guide me through it, which I wish that I had because it would have made everything a lot easier. I believe that my perspective of a Dominant's role has changed an awful lot, though. I sort of came into it with the thought that the slave merely obeyed and that was it (which it is this way, sometimes). But it's more of a give and take, hence why I love the term "power exchange." The Dominant and submissive or Master and slave give and take power, it's an exchange between the two. You give me everything of yourself and I provide comfort and security.

BDSM is a long journey. People have been in it for decades and are still growing in terms of their role and their likes and dislikes. At this point, I know what I want—years ago, I didn't. But now, I know exactly what I need in a partner, in a slave, and I am brought all that much closer to eventually one day having it.