30 Days of Kink: Dress-up

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Day 28: How do you dress for kink/BDSM play? What significance does your attire have to you?

It truly depends on the situation. I've never been one for dress-up or roleplay (as I stated in one of the earlier days), but I do like to dress up. Dress up, as in, wear something nice or something that I enjoy, like leather. I also am very partial to suits, if I haven't said that enough. Boots or suit shoes are a must, except on rare occasions when I wear leather sandals. I do not find the way that I dress to be specifically for anything, though. It's mainly just for myself and for my own enjoyment.

My attire is significant to me in that I care very much about it. Though I do not care about others' outward appearance, I care very much about mine. I am very particular in my style of dress and the things that I wear, how they fit me, what color combinations they have. I enjoy looking good, and I like to wear things that I feel are attractive on me. Though this does somewhat connect to how I dress for play, play does not make me change into something "better" or more "fitting" because I feel that whatever clothing I was already wearing is fitting enough.

Candy Jaguar Cuffs by ASLAN Leather

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I think that it's common knowledge that Aslan Leather makes excellent quality leather pieces. I have so many things made by them that it's almost hard to count. To add to my fairly large collection of their equipment, the Pink Candy Jaguar cuffs add a hint of sweetness yet retain the quality materials that Aslan Leather is known for. I cannot describe how happy I was when Edenfantasys sent these to me. I wouldn't have expected any less or any more—the cuffs are exactly as they should be.

The cuffs have two layers of leather that are of average thickness and an extremely thick buckle strap on the outside. They're flexible, durable, and well-made. With a total of seven rivets (double row surrounding the d-ring), the Candy Jaguar cuffs have no way of coming apart due to ripping or tearing. They're artfully made, and it shows in the stitching and care used to craft them. The edges of the leather are not finished by being folded over, but they are cut on a bias in order to have an aesthetically pleasing appearance. As much as I would have preferred the leather folded over, it would have been far too bulky. When the cuffs are first received, they are extremely stiff and inflexible, so keep this in mind when purchasing. It does cause them to be slightly difficult to adjust, but not so much that they are unusable. They will most likely take many uses to soften up, but over time, they will.

Lined with white leather and bearing a pink outer layer, the Candy Jaguar cuffs are simply adorable. If you've seen Aslan's Jaguar cuffs, then you know that they're very trim and straight-forward. They don't have any frills or accouterments on them, nothing added that may get in the way or distract from the sensation of wearing cuffs. Just thick leather against skin. But the thing that sets the Candy set (there is also a collar) apart from Aslan Leather's original Jaguar cuffs is that the leather is more plush. When comparing the thicknesses, you can see that the Candy Jaguar cuffs have a slightly thicker layer of lining than the original cuffs do. I do believe that this not only adds to their comfort, but their sweetness as well.

But don't let the sweetness fool you. The cuffs feature a locking buckle and a thick, firm buckle strap (the strap is white like the lining). They're moderately heavy-duty cuffs, even though they are both comfortable and plush. I wouldn't say that they can be used for suspension, though tie-ups and metal links are always options for connecting the cuffs. They don't come with any connectors, but you can find those easily in most stores.

For fit, the cuffs have the capability of fitting a wide range of sizes. There are six slots for adjustment with the locking buckle, each spaced ¼" apart. When laid flat, the cuffs measure 11½" from tip of the buckle strap to the edge of the cuff. However, they only fit sizes 5" to 9" around. This means that if you or your partner has ankles in this range, they can double as ankle cuffs. But if you don't, I would say that your best bet is to get only one pair for the wrists (which is what I did). The cuffs are not a wide pair of cuffs, but they're not very thin either at a width of 2". I would call them fairly average. The buckle strap is an inch in width.

One of the biggest problems with the Candy Jaguar set is not one with how they are made (unsurprisingly, even though they are firm and need to be broken in); it's due to the white leather. Most people will tell you what a pain upkeep is for anything white (clothes, shoes, furniture), so leather is no different. It gets stained easily and can possibly absorb the color of things around it, so I suggest keeping the cuffs hung up somewhere where there is no possibility of this happening. They can also always be kept in a plastic baggie to keep them safe from harm. On that note, when storing them, make sure to keep them out of direct sunlight and in a place that is not damp (do not keep them in your bathroom, for instance). Leather requires proper care, but if it cared for relatively well, it will last for a long, long time.

On the comfort side of things, the cuffs are fairly comfortable due to having the slightly plush, smooth leather interior, but because of the firmness of the buckle strap, they can be a little less movable and natural feeling. With more use they'll soften up, but until then, try to grin and bear it. It's really not that unpleasant of a feeling, it's just slightly more awkward than leather cuffs that have been broken in.

You simply cannot go wrong when buying products from Aslan, and since every product is backed by a lifetime guarantee, you will be set for life. Me personally, I am somewhat of a collector, so I could never be happy with just one pair. They're certainly a nice addition to what I already have, and because of the pink and white leather, they're also unique. If pink isn't your thing, Edenfantasys also carries the Candy Jaguar cuffs in baby blue (my favorite color, actually). Though I will admit that they are fairly expensive  at $58 (more so than some other leather cuffs out there), they are very good quality and Aslan Leather does have their guarantee, so it's more safety than other companies offer.

If you're interested in purchasing the Candy Jaguar cuffs, head on over to Edenfantasys. They're $58, like I said, but I find them to be worth the price. In addition to the matching collar, there's also two styles of harnesses to choose from that match the set as well. If you want a little discount, enter my partner code B5P at your checkout to get 15% off.

Note: They did come in a plastic, resealable baggie. I suggest keeping this for storage to keep the white leather as clean as possible. Even though no one really will see it, I'm somewhat obsessive over the state of my cuffs, so I kept the baggie.

product picture
Wrist cuffs by Aslan Leather
Material: Leather
Safety:
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer.

30 Days of Kink: Non-kink in Kink Play?

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Day 27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?

I cannot really say for sure, honestly. Everything that I do simply encompasses me. Especially with the type of person I am, I cannot detach myself from my interests as a whole. Some of my interests are mathematics, music, and art (either written or drawn), but something that I really enjoy is teaching. I work at a tutoring center and I absolutely love it. I do believe that that plays a part in the type of Dominant I am, since I am very guiding.

Aside from that, I do not roleplay any situations, so I wouldn't say that I do the whole "teacher/student" thing, even though I sometimes take on the role of being a teacher to my lesser. I would say that, truly, all of my interests, including the lifestyle, make up who I am. To say that any part of me disappears when in different settings would be untrue. I am who I am, no matter where I may be.

30 Days of Kink: Playing on the Internet

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Day 26: What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?

Well, we've just walked into some murky water here, haven't we? See, the lifestyle online has not been a good experience for me. My ex of four years and I were actually in a long-distance relationship, so much of our time was online, both playing and training. Sad, but true. For some reason, she thought that she could disobey me since I couldn't see what she was doing. Funny, no? But my opinion on online playing is that it can work for some, but I'm not interested in it. In fact, I'm not interested in many of the things I used to be interested in.

I'm not interested in seeing a partner on webcam.

I'm not interested in engaging in cyber sex with a partner, regardless of the circumstances.

I'm not interested in having my submissive punish themselves with a belt or other tool, as it does me no good because they never do it hard enough.

Online play and having any form of relationship over the internet is usually just not good. It's not good for me because I cannot trust people long-distance, or even who live fifteen minutes away. I have extreme trust issues (when I say extreme, I mean it) and it is very difficult, nearing impossible, to get me to trust a person completely. This is why I have these views. I'm not saying that it's bad for anyone, because it's not. It can be a good thing. I can introduce someone to what the BDSM community has to offer. It can introduce a person to the possibilities, the ideas, what can happen. But it can also be bad, if not done correctly.

In general, for people new to the lifestyle, I would say that finding a mentor is the best route to take. I never had one, sadly, and I'm still trying to find someone who I find honorable enough to mentor me and teach me the proper ways to use certain tools and mediums. I only know just enough to get by, and I find that unacceptable. However, as I was saying, the best thing for a person new to this wonderful BDSM world is to find a mentor who shares common interests and values and then for them to get themselves exposed both to the local community and perhaps different implements and methods of play. The internet can be a great source for many things, but practice makes perfect in so many ways, and the only way to practice is to do.

I do hope that this post made sense. My mind is a bit jumbled lately from all of the work I've been doing with my courses and everything else, so do forgive me. If you need any clarification on anything I've said, just let me know!

-Sir

30 Days of Kink: Transparency

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Day 25: How open are you about your kinks?

Generally, I'm the sort of person that tells it like it is and doesn't sugarcoat things. I am completely open about my being in the BDSM lifestyle as well as my side job on Edenfantasys as a reviewer. I am open about it at work, I am open about it with my family members, and I am open about it with friends and potential partners. I don't leave anything secret, but I do warn that if the person doesn't want to be either shocked or surprised by information that they should keep their questions to themselves.

Since I have a slave now, I do not refer to her in conversation by her first name. It's simply not something I use often. I refer to her as the slave, my slave, or my girl. People's eyes might go wide, but I do not really care too much. If they didn't want to talk to me, they don't have to, and I'll leave them alone. If they ask me to keep the information to myself, I will. But if they ask questions, they are consenting to receive answers, and it simply isn't my fault that they disliked the answers they received.

I stand by my lifestyle choice, and it is who I am. It does not affect me in a work environment. In fact, I think that it enhances it, since I am able to both stand up for myself and bow when I need to (to my higher ups and superiors) since I understand hierarchy and where I fall down the line. It also makes me a better teacher, more patient, understanding, and conscious of the words I use and the things I say to my students. If an employer dislikes my lifestyle choice, well, that is their choice to dislike it. But it is my choice to engage in it. I do not bring it to my work space, I do not bring my riding crops or canes with me to work. I am very professional, and good at what I do, so I see no reason to hide who I am.

On the whole, it's just a part of me, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
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