30 Days of Kink: The Perfect Partner?

Day 24: What qualities do you look for in a partner?

I was waiting for this one. It's actually a very good question, because I have an extensive lists of qualities that attract my attention, none of them having to do with physical appearance. The first two things are this: when a person is compassionate for others and when they have an open mind. Then from there, submission, subservience, the need to serve under a Dominant. I enjoy obedience and domesticity. Slight masochism, though this is not necessary. Someone who I can relate to on many levels, who shares a lot of my ideals. A person who is a good, genuine individual.

Recently, I wrote a private journal entry of my idea of the "perfect" partner. It went a little something like this:

Enjoys cooking, cleaning, and folding laundry. Must want children, must be very playful and fun. Must have a childish side to connect with the children, and must have a childish side that I can play with. Submissive, masochistic, not afraid to voice their wants. Open-minded, accepting, not degrading to other individuals. Loving of human beings, sweet and kind. Frail and weak, but strong enough to be abused. Must have a strong will to others, but have the capability of being weak to one person (me). Must have compassion for others, care about the human condition, but understand when to say 'no' to others. Must remove the word 'no' from their vocabulary when speaking to me, unless told otherwise. Must be willing to give up themselves, their mind, their actions. Must want to be controlled, must feel safe in being controlled. Needs to enjoy whatever their partner deems they should, and must have love in their heart to give to their partner. Has to enjoy going out on dates, staying in and watching films, or eating cheesecake for breakfast. Needs to find pleasure in sitting at another's feet while the other reads or does work. Needs to be in a calm state of mind, and easily broken in. Must not play head games or test others' patience. Must be upfront and honest about all of their wants, needs, and desires. Needs to be faithful and want a committed relationship. Needs to want marriage and full-time commitment. Needs to enjoy being a housewife and enjoy greeting their partner when they come home from work.

What I need from a partner, and their qualities will show this, is sweetness and kindness. I love it when a slave is sweet, cute, and adorable. It makes me proud. I need a partner who will make me proud, and who other Dominants will salivate over, wishing that they had a slave as wonderful as mine. I do not really care about the exterior, it's more of how they carry themselves. I become more attracted and stuck on the way a person moves than on how they look. It's actually one of the things I fell in love with about my ex little girl—the way her little hands picked up things, how her feet were situated when she stood, the way she looked crouched and small when she spoke. That, to me, is beautiful.

I find it beautiful when a slave takes pain not only because they like it, but because they like to be of pleasure to their Dominant. That's another thing that I look for in a partner—the willingness to please and satisfy. Though I'm actually very big on satisfying my partner as well, I prefer it when they go out of their way to please me, to make me happy, to make me proud. Another thing is that a partner should not give their submission so easily. I do not like that. I do not like to fight for it, no, but I do not like it when the person immediately gives it to me. It makes me feel that I am nothing special, that if they could so easily hand over their submission that it is of no value. Over time, if a slave hands over power, I enjoy that. It's good, it shows me that not only they're warming up to me, but that they're also finding me worthy of their true submission. There's no better feeling in the world.

Another thing that is good in a partner, though not required, is a want to better themselves. I don't necessarily find charity cases, per se, but I do like it when the person feels that they could use improvement. It makes me feel like I have a purpose as their Dominant, and an obligation to help them get there. I personally am very focused on the future and on success in terms of career, so it makes me very pleased when a person is too. Even if they have that drive but not the means, it's nice to see that they are willing to move forward with their life. As someone who is a bit obsessive compulsive when it comes to cleanliness, I would probably require that the person knows how to clean.

Well, after writing all of that, I realize that I probably expect too much. I've always known that, but people have told me otherwise. However, I don't personally think that it's exactly a lot, if I were to find the right person. My philosophy on that is that if someone truly had the desire to fulfill that role in my life, be my everything and receive everything in return, then they would be willing to put up with all that I require and expect. I give a lot back. It may seem like I don't because I am a Dominant, but I do. I give back that sense of security, I give back a person who is understanding and caring, I give back a person who is committed and real and who knows what he wants. I'm responsible and am going somewhere in my life. Most everything that I do, I do it so that I can be a better Dominant to someone someday. It's a give and take, always, and that's how I prefer it.