30 Days of Kink: Self Discovery

Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?

This one is actually a bit amusing, because me being into the lifestyle was never something that I "discovered." I always knew that I was into it in some way—that I wanted to tie someone up, that I wanted to flog them and smack them, that I wanted to get out handcuffs and incapacitate them. What I didn't know, which is probably what I should talk about, was how much I was into the lifestyle, how much of a high protocol, sadistic Dominant I was. How much I wanted to own and possess another person, completely and entirely.

At one point in my life, I saw it as just a bedroom play thing. Yes, it's true, I did. Then I got into a relationship with my first submissive, and it was quite interesting. They weren't so much disobedient as they were an annoyance and irritation. I was not too into them, but I did at least find out what I wanted in a relationship. Soon after that, I got into a relationship for four years with my ex, Amber. She was a little horror, but I again found out a lot about myself in terms of what I need in a relationship. She brought out my DaddyDom side, which I hadn't known even existed.

Since tomorrow's post is about childhood experience, I'll save all of what I would have said about my self-exploration and discovery for tomorrow. A lot of it had to do with the experiences that I had as a kid, and these very clear, vivid memories that I have that tell me, "Yeah, I knew what I was into from the beginning." The way I found out was when it was brought out of me by others, and that's probably similar to other people as well. It's very hard to just one day say, "Oh, I'm into this," until you experience it, put yourself in the situation, and then find out how you truly feel about it.

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