Poly and Me

Otherwise known as, "How Monogamous Can You Get?"

I've had plenty of poly experiences in the past; enough to make me positive that it isn't what I desire, even if it's done healthily and all parties are fully aware and kept up to date with happenings. I am monogamous to an extreme extent. Now what does that mean?

1. I won't look at other people and find them any form of sexually or mentally stimulating.
2. I will not comment on or think of the physical appearance of people other than my property.
3. I will not compare a partner's or slave's servitude to another human being's.
4. I will not interrupt our time together with other people who are trivial; this basically refers to friends.
5. I will make our relationship my third priority, third to my personal growth career-wise and family (until my partner becomes my family, at which point they come second; then, when I am settled in my career, my family comes first).
6. I do not have intercourse with people outside of relationships with them.
7. I prefer to not play with people unless I'm in a relationship with them. Yes, I do currently play with multiple people because I am, at the time, not in a committed relationship.
8. I am not an unfaithful individual, and I see no reason to touch or "talk" with others outside of the relationship.
9. I will focus entirely on the growth and development of the relationship.
10. I strive to make myself the most healthy and positive individual that I can be in order to be good for my property.

Perhaps this isn't how people "do" relationships. Perhaps I am more eccentric than I had previously thought. But I am an extremely devoted, loyal individual. This isn't to say that poly people cannot be loyal or devoted; I simply have found that poly people feel less obligated to be in lieu of them being poly and not having to be beholding to anyone or anything. I feel that that's, to be blunt, bullshit, but so be it.

For me, D/s comes before romantic relationships. That is part of the point. I do not do the frou-frou, "Master, please hit me!" in the bedroom crap. That's fine if you do, and of course there's nothing wrong with it. But my enjoyment in D/s and ownership comes from having someone whose main focus is me; who I can make my main focus (and I inadvertently do, even if they haven't made me theirs). My experiences with poly have been negative because the people I was involved with did not put their service to me first and foremost, before their other relationships. Essentially, they allowed ours to die while keeping their others thriving.

One day, I hope that someone will show me a poly relationship where the people do not cheat, actually keep communication open, and devote themselves entirely to their D/s relationship as well as their other relationships. But that's wishful thinking, considering the fact that even monogamous relationships lack the languages of love that so many talk about.